oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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