1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
