i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
