Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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