Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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