He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
