Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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