That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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