we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
