Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
