he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
