i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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