I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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