I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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