Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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