Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
