can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
