This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
