At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
PANTIES FOUND
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
