Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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