it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he shaved USA in his pubs
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
