so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
