we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
