thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
