not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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