I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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