I'm gonna have a badass scar
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
