I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
