I think my fart just growled at me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
