I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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