how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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