nut hugger
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
