I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
