Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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