Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
