You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
