That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize