that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You peed on a flamingo?!?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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