On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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