she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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