we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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