I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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