Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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