its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
