Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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