please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
