And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
