I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
