Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my being single is dangerous.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
