Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
