yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
