Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
