after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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