hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
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im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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