I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
