it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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