I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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