she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
