bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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