trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
