so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
