I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
